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Articles tagged with: Dr. Zodiac

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[1 Jan 2012 | No Comment | 1,813 views]
Horoscope for the week of Jan. 2

Well, happy New Year!
I know what you’re all thinking — what kind of calamity will the stars inflict on us in 2012? Well, you might not be thinking along those lines. We at First Arkansas News didn’t until Dr. Zodiac — our resident psychic, soothsayer and general purpose mystic — sold us we ought to be thinking about such things constantly. Who are we to question the wisdom of Dr. Zodiac? He is, after all, a doctor (or at least he claims to be).
At any rate, Dr. Zodiac tells us …

Arts & Entertainment, Horoscope »

[18 Dec 2011 | No Comment | 1,956 views]
Horoscope for the week of Dec. 19

Dr. Zodiac — our in-house psychic, astrologer, master of the occult and general-purpose guru, wanted us at First Arkansas News to convey to our readers his sincere wishes for a wonderful Christmas.
Of course, he says the stars — those ill-tempered celestial beings that don’t at all care for humanity — are out to ruin everybody’s holiday fun. Why? Dr. Zodiac says it’s because they’re mean and that’s what they do. Regardless, the good doctor is here to help. He claims that knowledge is power and that some advance warning about …

Arts & Entertainment, Horoscope »

[4 Dec 2011 | No Comment | 3,004 views]
Horoscope for the week of Dec. 5

We at First Arkansas News certainly wish everyone a happy Christmas season and hope both the new year is a great one for all.
Dr. Zodiac, however, isn’t quite so optimistic. No, he said the stars love nothing more than to see humans miserable and have been particularly happy about the rotten economy that’s gripped the world these past few years. The stars would love to see that level of misery continue and have vowed to kick us all while we’re down.
“Those stars. They’re punks like that,” Dr. Zodiac said. “Don’t …

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[27 Nov 2011 | No Comment | 2,043 views]
Horoscope for the week of Nov. 28

Did everyone have a great Thanksgiving?
We at First Arkansas News certainly hope so. However, Dr. Zodiac — our resident master of the occult, self-appointed envoy to the stars and general purpose mystic — tells us that there’s trouble in store. Why? It seems the stars don’t want anyone to be thankful for anything but them. That is a bit peculiar when one considers that Dr. Zodiac tells us we should be very afraid of the stars as they enjoy toying with us, but that’s how it goes.
Regardless, Dr. Zodiac says …

Arts & Entertainment, Horoscope »

[30 Oct 2011 | One Comment | 1,986 views]
Horoscope for the week of Oct. 31

It’s Halloween and our resident astrologer, Dr. Zodiac, tells us the stars have been extra feisty this week.
While we’re not quite sure what stars have to do with ghosts, goblins and all that other stuff that comes with Halloween, Dr. Zodiac says the stars have a lot of influence over the Spirit World (emphasis his). Hey, he claims to be an accomplished astrologer, master of the occult and general smart guy when it comes to otherworldly things, so we’ll take his word for it. Besides, he told us when he …