Wikipedia Brown: ‘The Case of the Tenacious Trojan’ (conclusion)
Welcome back to the serialized adventures of Wikipedia Brown. Welcome back? Yes, Episodes 1 and 2 are complete and you’ll find them here. We left off last week after the second part of Episode 3, the Case of the Tenacious Trojan, and you’ll find that here. Miss the first part? We’ve got you covered and you’ll find that here.
Please bear in mind that these serialized adventures were originally meant to be heard and not read. However, only the first episode was produced and you’ll find that here. Will more be produced in the future? Perhaps. We’ll just wait and see, huh?
When we left off last time, Wikipedia Brown — self-described genius and Internet Guru — had arrived at an impasse with Webster, his trusty sidekick. Wikipedia was certain that a city-wide Trojan that inflicted an irritation version of The Chicken Dance on every computer user in town was masterminded by Mayor Wolfgang Coody. Webster, however, was certain that the Trojan was the latest in a long series of schemes by the diabolical Britannica. Your faithful omniscient author, meanwhile, has revealed that the Trojan was unleashed by Summer, the diabolical Britannica’s amoral assistant. What will happen next? Read on and find out, pilgrim.
Wikipedia Brown, at Webster’s prompting, has been convinced to go by Britannica’s antique store in hopes of revealing the source of the Trojan that’s annoyed computer users throughout the city.
“Here we are, Webster,” Wikipedia said as he started to enter the antiques shop. “Let’s go on in…”
“Wikipedia Brown!” Britannica growled as the boys set foot in his shop.
“Britannica! You fiend! You fiendish fiend!” Wikipedia replied. “Hey, listen. You didn’t unleash that computer virus that’s caused trouble all over town, did you?”
“Technically, it’s a Trojan,” chimed in Summer.
“Yes, Wiki. It was me!” Britannica said. “Actually, it was Summer. I hired her to write it and distribute it…”
“Wait! Wait just a minute,” Summer interrupted. “This is how this works? Wikipedia Brown just walks in, asks a question and you just admit to everything?”
“Well … yes.”
“Seriously? What kind of evil genius are you?”
“I’m not evil. I just want to free people from their dependence on the Internet. Anyway, why should I deny everything? The kid is brilliant. Obviously, he’s figured out what we’re doing. That’s why he’s here.”
“I’m not sure he’s figured out anything,” Summer said. “Wikipedia, were you certain that Britannica was responsible for the Trojan before he admitted it?”
“Well. Uh. Hmm. You know. Maybe…”
“No you weren’t. You weren’t certain at all. ‘You didn’t release that computer virus, did you?’ That’s not the kind of question you’d ask if you were sure.”
“That’s beside the point. I’m certain now. I’m also certain I’m going to get the police and have you both arrested!”
“No you’re not,” Summer said. “No one is getting arrested.”
“What do you mean?” Webster asked.
“Because I can easily cure the Trojan. I can do it right now, in fact. Just one click of a mouse will remove it from all the infected computers. If you bring the police here, I promise you it will never be fixed.”
“I still think you have committed a crime and you should pay for it,” Wikipedia said.
“Phooey on that. I can give people their computers – and their access to the Internet – back right now. Isn’t that what you really want?”
“Wiki, she’s got a point,” Webster said. “I think everyone in town will be better off if we just promise to not have Summer arrested if she’ll get rid of the Trojan.”
“Fine,” Wikipedia huffed. “Summer, I have decided. If you will get rid of the virus – the Trojan – I’ll not call the police. Do we have a deal?”
“Yes, we do.”
“Yay! Wikipedia Brown saves the day once again!” Wikipedia smugly declared.
“Yippee,” mumbled Webster.
Yay! Wikipedia Brown has done it! That boy is just brilliant! I’m so glad he’s on the side of the angels.
“Hey! What about me?” Webster asked.
“Oh, yes. Webster helped, too. Sort of.
“You know, that’s it. I’m done.”
“Yes. Done. Wiki wanted to have the mayor arrested for this. I’m the one who dragged him over to see Britannica. It was me. Not him. Me. And now Wikipedia Brown gets all the credit?”
“Now, Webster. Don’t be like that…”
“I’m going to be exactly like that! What’s more, I don’t need Wikipedia Brown and I don’t need you. I’m going to start my own detective agency! The House of Webster! We’ll just see how Wikipedia Brown does without me around to solve cases and keep him out of trouble.”
“Oh, Wiki will be fine. Tune in next time when Britannica has Summer help him get cable television access for free! Oh, my. Britannica is going to steal cable. Will he get away with it? Find out in the upcoming episode – wait, that can’t be right. Must be a typo. Where’s that writer?
“Well, the writer has confirmed the title is correct. So, tune in next time for Britannica Triumphant. I don’t like the sound of that at all.”
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Benton resident. Rogue journalist. Recovering attorney. Email = Ethan@FirstArkansasNews.net.